Cutest Mutt Ever.

Here begins a series of blogs about what I've spent a lot of time thinking about lately: people.
I thought it appropriate to start with Brooklynn, because for me she's been a series of new beginnings since she joined me in this world almost 21 months ago.

I think Brooklynn is captured perfectly in this photo. Look past the diaper and crazy hair, and look into her eyes. They're full of everything that reminds me of her: curiosity, trust, kindness, and sass. It's like she's looking right through you, with all of these emotions totally exposed.
Everything about Brooklynn has been on super speed. She came into this world quickly, and it seems like since then everything has been on fast forward.
I remember holding her through our first night together - just her and I in that hospital room, and feeling overwhelmed with her nature. I would say Spirit, but I think Nature explains what I mean more . . . . for me having a child erupted my fears and flew them all across the room, in plain view, for me to stare at for 10 months. I was petrified of a million things, things that were real to me and kept me up at night. Mainly emotional things, like how the crap can I be a good mom?

Sitting through that night with her, my adrenaline making it impossible to go to sleep, I watched her small little frame lift up and down, up and down with each breath, and I felt who she was down to the core of my being - it wasn't an overwhelming thing, it was the opposite. I felt it as simple as things get - I felt her and the sweet sweet person that she was. In that moment every single fear seemed to go invisible and I knew God had sent me a "sweet one". One that would forgive and love me anyway, one that would laugh and make fun of all my stupid mom things and still give me a hug. Sure, sure, I knew it wouldn't be a cake walk, but that moment has never left me. I am so grateful that God sent me her.

Since then, Brooklynn's blossomed into a fiery and giggly little girl. It seems every day she's becoming more and more:
She has heart: learning to walk was a two day event of her getting up and falling down, getting up and falling down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up down up down, updownupdownupdown. . . .

She has fire: getting her on a schedule was a battle of wills and many times I was sure she would win. She can cry it out with the best of them, believe me.

She has a love of animals: seeing this girl with her dog is watching a unique love affair where her best friend really does have four legs. Whenever Brent and I go out of town and leave her behind, Brooklynn holds tight to Mesa and spends the duration of our trip cuddling up to her as close as possible. Horses are like the other car. She'd spend all day on them if we let her.

She has an opinion: just ask her, really.

She has a sense of humor: which she really doesn't get from me. She'll do anything to make people laugh, and once she gets you going, she'll join right in with you.

She shines in the light of attention: not that she doesn't get enough. Brooklynn has no fear of being the one everyone is looking at and loving. She's like her dad - she loves affirmation, and like her mom - she loves to be loved.

She's smart: watch out, she knows more animal sounds than I think I know. She loves to read book after book after book, and will spend hours doing this by herself if you let her.

But most of all, she's sweet. She's brought with her a fabric of growth and knowledge that I just couldn't have lived any other way . . . It makes God's plan seem so absolutely stunning - how else could you know how much He loves us? How else could you really know what trust is, what faith is, what love and loss, what selflessness, what happiness . . . how else could you know these things - not the version you knew before, but the new version, with a deeper color attached. You just can't know, without them. And it seems to make all the other lessons make sense. Elizabeth Stone says that a child is "your heart walking around outside your body". Who could possibly complete you more, stretch you further, or fill you up faster?
I love my baby girl. Thank you for coming to us.