8:38

Being married means that you now can screw up royally. Congratulations.
Being pregnant means that you agree to give up your fine body, and sacrifice it to the greater cause.
Being away means that half the time you are alone. A word that echoes with a hollow sound.
So, Thomas Kramer, why do we do things that are hard?
I’m not pregnant, but I am married. And today I did screw up royally.
I remember when I could count how many times I’d really done something worth erasing while being married. Now I can’t remember how many. It’s a license to know someone well enough to hurt them very much, all in a dose of raw reality that you never knew existed. There are too many things to pray for these days. . . . it’s overwhelming to kneel. Which means, of coarse, I’m doing it all wrong.
I play in church on Sunday. Maybe it will bring some clarity. Then rehearsal. Then another rehearsal, then another rehearsal, then a student, then another rehearsal and then the performance. That’s Monday. Tuesday means another rehearsal, and another performance, and then Wednesday is the big day. Before that though I need to pack everything, box it up and hope that the contract goes through. Meanwhile Nate and Cami are in town . . . to see New York and to come to one of the performances. I miss Brent. I look at the mirror and wonder if I ever will be that strong woman that I imagined myself becoming.