I like to bake. I bake most often when I'm upset. Sad, frustrated, confused, angry . . . . all of the above. There is just something about warm dough pressed against your skin - the motion of kneading it back and forth as your mind fumes over the issue at hand. One time in college during a bad break up I made lasagna, muffins, eggs, wheat bread, white bread, french bread, banana bread, and cookies all in one big kitchen flurry. I still see myself in my minds eye - white flour smeared across my face and eyes red and wet from crying.
A long time ago one of my friend's dad had an affair. On the day he found out I went over to sit with him and stare at a wall. Sometimes you just need someone to stare with. I'll never forget the voice of his mother in the other room on the phone. "I know. . . . I know . . " she mumbled, talking quietly. "It's just. . . It's just one of those days that you can't even bake bread".
One time I made a loaf of bread for a boyfriend. I carefully measured and prepared, making sure the temperature of the water was just right, checked the weather outside to know how much wet to add . . . it emerged from the oven as crust and dough in perfection. Upon delivering the bread he looked at me with half a smirk and quickly mumbled a thanks. It was awkward, and in that moment I knew it would never work between us.
Yesterday was just a bad day. Nothing epic, just one of those good old fashioned frustrating days. By the time it all ended it was time for bed, so this morning after teaching 3 hours I entered the kitchen and began mixing ingredients. After a loaf of wheat bread and zucchini bread I felt as if the grey inside of me was being sifted and discarded, and finally light was being let back in.
Thought I'd share a recipe in honor of those days you just need to bake bread.
Zucchini or Banana Bread
2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 t baking soda
1/2 t salt
1 c sugar
1/4 c butter, softened
2 large eggs
1 1/2 c mashed bananas or grated zucchini
1/4 c plain low-fat yogurt or sour cream
3 T dark rum
1/2 t vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350
Bake for one hour
mix 1 T coconut, 1/2 c powdered sugar, and 1 1/2 T fresh lime juice
Let bread cool
Drizzle glaze over bread and serve.
5 comments:
oh melissa, you make me cry good tears.
This made me laugh! I too like to bake when i am upset, my only problem is that i am usually too flustered for the baked goods to turn out right. The recipe looks yummy, thanks for sharing!
lovely post indeed! i think i need to do some baking. too bad i can't join you as you do it...could use some good conversation to go with a baking frenzy.
miss you!
I know the feeling, but don't know if I have ever felt like baking bread or anything else for that matter when I am upset. Maybe cookie dough.
I made this zucchini bread last night for my roommates, and it turned out amazingly. (Except I didn't have any rum on hand. Maybe next time.) I think about you often, Melissa, and hope you're doing well.
Post a Comment