New Chapters

This is my super hero warrior suit. I keep it in the closet. It comes out on special occasions when I need to change into my super human self and do something hard.

The first time I wore it was when I was hiking Rainier with a 90 lbs pack and down hill skies and boots strapped to my back. I flew to Seattle with 5 guys I'd met once, and climbed to the summit and back down again in 24 hours. I was the only girl, side note. The suit saved my life.

The next time I wore it was when we were first married and Brent moved to Utah for work. I stayed in New York to finish school and practiced my ninja moves catapulting through subways and airplanes and LIRR trains as we both commuted back and forth every two weeks to be together for a weekend. I slaughtered the thoughts of doubt that came when I thought of how "I'd never really experience a 'typical' first year of marriage" and replaced it with thoughts like "who gets to live like this?! Seriously, how sexy is a commuting relationship where you're living in two different apartments?! Very. Sexy."

I wore it again when I chose to do a natural birth, and then the baby decided to come very quickly. It was a superman move, I'm telling you.

Then there was the last two years. There's a whole different galaxy that you live in when you're husband isn't working. The colors in the air change, and you are forced to breathe an oxygen that often stings. When the people you love are hurting, you live to help them. You live to survive, for them. You live to never let anyone else do anything but love them. You become very protective and your samurai super suit never comes off. You do hard things, day after day, and when work ends, you start the clean up at home, and you keep your strength because you can't. afford. to ever. stop.

Last week I put my suit back in the closet.

Brent began training in his new job. The air started changing color back to what it was before. For the next 6 - 9 months until training ends, he'll be gone 3 weeks and home for 1. Brooklynn and I are holding down the fort, doing the single mom thing for a while, remembering those feelings that come with a commuting relationship. I never would have thought we'd do it again. I never thought we'd do it with a two year old and us both working full time. But this time my suit is pretty experienced. It's well used and newly oiled, broken in and ready for battle.

So, new chapter: BRING (quick awesome arm gesture) IT (another quick karate arm move) ON.