Dancing in the Leaves

HEELLLLOO AUTUMN!
What is it about this time and of year and the overwhelming feeling to be honest with myself? It's like the trees are stripped bare and so is my soul - I have to level with myself on all sorts of things that I've been pretending.
Like the fact that I like to plan.
Recently I had to take this Kolbe test promoted by my dad . . . I answered all those questions and the computer coughed and sputtered as it printed out the results of my inside intuitions. There it was, in black and white with all of what's implied between the lines. It declared to the world, friends, and all family that I do indeed like to plan ahead. I've been fighting my whole life it seems to not fall into what I perceive as a trap set my parents to overplan everything until it wilts and dies. But, alas. When all of me boils down to nothing but the stalk in my bones - it's there, right along with all the other parts of me that are as real as the color of my eyes. I am a planner.
sigh.
So today I laugh at the metaphor "turning over a new leaf", because with all these fallen and overturned leaves comes a sigh of surrender from somewhere deep inside. For all the years I grimaced whenever a palm pilot chirped or Franklin Planner emerged as a leash to the real world, somehow the system has gotten me too and it seems to be the easiest way for me to stay sane. Long live Autumn and the way it uncovers silent suggestions.