I view myself as an honest person. In fact, I relish honesty by surrounding myself with people who I feel I can be honest with - people who appreciate me saying out loud the sometimes not said out loud things, and offering the vulnerability of expressing my failures.
For this reason I do respect your post.
However, I don't respect that you failed to mention who you are.
There is such safety in staying anonymous. You can sit back and take the position of a critic and expert without ever going out on a limb like I did in writing about one moment, one real moment, in the life of me: a new mother.
And in being honest, I must say that your response did in fact frustrate me.
I've lived long enough to recognize when someone is manipulative, being outwardly critical and then using a side door out by saying things like: "in case you view this as critical, it is not meant to be". Another lie. Your comment WAS meant to be critical.
I'd like to take you back to the moment after your first child came into the world - not the many moments of fun and laughter, but that one moment that I think EVERY new mother has where you suddenly, and with maybe a bit of shock, realized that life will never be quite the same.
Maybe others, maybe you even, never have had this moment. Maybe you knew all along the exact changes and ways that it would bleed into another life. Maybe you knew all along the pay offs and how things would unfold.
I, on the other hand, am learning. I am a student of this new life that my baby has brought with her, and I am happily engaged in the ups and downs that come with it. If you read my blog often you'll notice I post about both.
However, I am not like you, I suppose: I do express frustration at times, and in this last "vacation" this frustration took me completely by surprise. I would like to think that those who really know me know that this moment captured in words was that: a moment, and that I do embrace and love being a mother.
The bottom line is that if I knew who you were, and respected you, I'd be the first one signing up for a lesson on how to be a better mother. I find it "sad" that you didn't have the courage to reveal yourself.
8 comments:
I am so with you!!!! I think those who aren't real about life with all of its downs must feel sad on the inside because we know that they feel it. Some of my most pathetic moments are also my funniest and best moments. Life is hard, being a mom is hard and being REAL about it helps. Being judgmental never help anyone EVER! By the way I would like to read the comment, what the heck did they say?
Love you, Melissa! I've always loved how you've allowed yourself to be so vulnerable...to show us your oh so human heart. I know this is exactly what will make you the best mother! I read your posts with such awe and admiration.
I will always remember your post about how your mother-in-law wanted you to know that she knew how hard you are trying to juggle what life has to offer...being a mother, working hard, playing hard, etc. I want to tell you that I also see how hard you're working, how hard you're trying...laughing and crying all the way. anyway, i could go on and on. you're beautiful! a beautiful woman. a beautiful mother.
one more thing: i am learning so much from you. some day i too will be a mother, and i soak up every word you have to offer. i think i've made you my "guru" of motherhood!
I know you Melissa and i loved your last post. No question, you're a great mother. Keep keeping it real.
I think it's fantastic that you have the guts to fully express your frustration. I doubt there is any mother, or father for that mother, that hasn't had a moment. I think most have quite a few, where they realize they've given up certain things to be a parent. It's not easy to let those things go, especially the ones that are most important to us. It's recognizing what we're giving up, acknowledging it, and accepting it that makes it possible to enjoy the things we gained by becoming parents. That's what I got from your last post. I appreciate it, even if someone else is too close-minded to accept that!
I loved your last post as well!!! You put how I feel into words that. You are able to express in words that I feel inside, I love that you are such an amazing writer and are able to put it into words so well. Thank you for always being you, you are an amazing person and I miss seeing you and being around you,to soak up your awesomeness. Keep it up. I just Love you. Brent is one lucky husband!!!
Don't you love those people who are to chicken to show their face! I am sure they are perfect in every way, I'm sure Marry Poppins is their favorite movie:)
I had an anonymous person leave a comment on my blog too, it wasn't nice. The wonderful anonymous soul even suggested or demanded I make my blog private, funny I know. I do not force this person to read "MY BLOG." Really, that is what a blog is all about, whatever the HELL I want it to be about:)! Maybe we should put a warning on our blogs titled " Take the good with the ugly or stay away!"
MaRea
P.S. Don't get excited it's not "the anonymous" leaving a comment, I waited and waited for them to leave one back on mine, they didn't!
hear hear! And when one lame-o says something to try to take you down, you get to delete what they said and read and re-read what all your loyal friends, supporters, and inspired-by-you people have to say! So go ahead, read all the above comments one more time!!!
I've had plenty of moments where I've wanted to throw in the towel, or where I say to myself that this wasn't what I signed up for and I'd like a few hours of my old life back. But how could I have known? My kids learn and grow and change and present new challenges every day to me, so how could I possibly be prepared for it??? The key is to do your best (which you do!), address your frustrations head on (which you do!) and allow yourself to adapt without breaking those principles which are most important to you as you raise your family (which you are!)
you are great!
and don't let some loser Anonymous whiny-pants tell you otherwise.
yes, I just used the word "whiny-pants"
and btw, happy bday Brooklynn
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