Note the sheer joy on my face. That is freedom my friends, freedom in all of it's glory.
The second year I was 9 1/2 months pregnant but we still hauled ourselves up some awesome peaks, with virtually every person we passed on the trail asking when I was due.
This year was our third annual trip. I've worked hard all year and had literally made the journey to the familiar teton range into some amazing glorification of all things wonderful: the smell of pine and the sound of it crunching under your hiking boot, the whisper of Aspen trees as the breeze sorts through the leaves, the feeling of packing everything you need to live on your back. I was SO READY for my trip.
However, it was our first real trip with a baby. screeeeccccchhhh. A what?! A baby. Yup, I had no idea what I was in for.
I packed the night before, including everything we'd need to make the trip a success. I scheduled the drive so that she would be perfectly on her nap schedule. What I didn't anticipate was Brooklynn completely REFUSING to nap in the car. Result: very cranky baby for the entire 6 hour drive up. Consequence: NO possibility of a hike the minute we arrived like I'd planned. Instead, we're checking into a hotel and putting up the pack n' play - desperate for somewhere for the papoose to snooze - Brent and I standing around outside the hotel room twidling our thumbs as the baby finally falls asleep.
After a few hours we wake the baby up and get in the car for attempt number two at a hike. Daylight is running short so we anxiously pull up to the park entrance, only to have the ranger tell us that this entrance is closed and we need to drive 60 minutes to the other side of the park to enter.
Baby starts to cry.
I want to cry with her.
"Stay flexible. stay flexible" I mumble under my breathe. Okay, I can do this. Change of plans. We go to dinner. Baby makes a HUGE mess and I realize why we no longer dine at places that are anything but kid friendly.
I'm exhausted. Brooklynn's exhausted. Brent's exhausted. We decide to do the hotel thing again.
Brent wants to watch a movie. Brooklynn is in the same room as us. Not going to happen. Somehow Brooklynn has come down with (yes, in the 8 hours we've been there) a nasty cold. She can't breathe. I'm grateful that for no reason I packed the bag of baby medicine essentials. Brooklynn still won't sleep. We spend the first half of the night with her waking up every two hours screaming and me trying desperately to get her to calm down before she wakes up the rest of the hotel.
Finally we shove her pack and play into the bathroom and shut the door. I'm done. She's done. Brent's done.
Groggily we wake up a few hours later when alarms ring telling us to get up, time to hike!
I slam the alarm to the floor and roll over with red eyes.
After a few attempts to rally the troops we finally get everything packed and walk out the door to get a move on. Immediately we are welcomed by the weather of the day: pouring rain.
RAIN.
YES. RAIN. COLD, FREAKIN, PATHETIC, WET, RAIN.
I can't even function I'm so broken hearted. We preserver. We WILL go hiking. Brent, obviously, is a Saint.
We spend the first 45 minutes looking for some type of a jacket we can buy for Brooklynn because obviously I didn't pack for RAIN.
After about an hour of looking at all the Jackets Jackson Hole has to offer little babies, I can't bring myself to spend the $100 required. Instead, we put Brooklynn in her pajamas and then layer up every item of clothing we brought, including the lunch and dinner caked one she wore yesterday.
Finally.
This time, we go in the right entrance of the park and get to our destination just as Brooklynn is starting to fuss because, yes, it's morning nap time.
I buy a poncho and wrap her up in it - yes, I wrapped my baby up in plastic. That's how pathetic we were at this point.
Brent is still a Saint.
We begin the trek. Brooklynn finally slouches uncontious in her pack and I insist Brent stops every 15 steps so I can check to make sure she can breathe. Needless to say, we don't get very far.
We climb the first little hill, take a look at the view, get passed by a few overweight tourists, climb back down, get to the boat to take us across the lake and have the stupid guide look at us and with all the mocking he can muster and say "sooooo. How did you enjoy your WALK?" I almost burst into tears. I wanted to tackle him and start punching his face with each and every bit of frustration in my heart. "DO" punch punch "YOU" punch punch punch "KNOW WHAT IT TOOK TO GET THIS FAR?" punch punch punch punch. I imagine the whole scene in my mind.
Brent squeezes my hand, I think he can feel it getting hot.
Note the baby in plastic in the pack.
Do not be deceived by our happy smiles.
We return to the car, wind and rain whistling around us. I am done. Beat. Welcome to motherhood with a big fat slap in the face. Congratulations! You will never experience freedom like you have before! This is the beginning of no hiking, no vacations, no anything but nap times and schedules that you are due to live by. Good luck!
Originally we were going to stay another day. Originally we were going to do a lot of things.
We got in the car and drove home. Not before Brooklynn woke up and then stayed up the whole drive, of coarse.
And that, my friends, is how I learned that life is NOT the same after you have kids.
Every bit worth it, but a learning curve non-the-less.
12 comments:
I so know how you feel, and I was even in a cabin with NO plans to ruin. I cried and wanted to go home from the place where I usually only cry because I have to go home. I have a picture of my mom backpacking in So. Utah with David on her shoulders and still in diapers. Pack it in, pack it out...since I only carried my own clothes and candy at age 7, I'm sure her pack was heavy enough for 3 days with 5 kids. How, how did she do that? It WAS her 6th child, and her 6th was nothing like her first. These things give me hope. You'll be there soon.
someday Brooklynn won't be tied down to naps and schedules, and she will walk beside you on the trail; no, she'll run ahead of you on the trail. And she'll reach the summit first and you'll marvel at how quickly her little legs have grown so long and how her tiny stride has lengthened so much. You won't have as much energy as you once did, because you have invested it in her growth and happiness. She'll turn around and say, "mom, come quick! You've got to see this!" And then you'll arrive at the summit, taking in that beautiful vista that is the reward for the persevering hiker, and you'll take her hand in yours and cry because it was only yesterday that she was so little that you had to carry her, and now it's she who is "carrying" you.
also, I want to punch that guy too
I so feel your pain! That is a sad story lets hope that next year will be better. Don't give up, you just have to do it a little different...and next year you will be so sad because she is so big. I am jealous, we went camping this weekend these people don't know how good it really can be it is not camping in the south!
Is is mean of me to say I got a good laugh out of that? (since when has harshness stopped me before?) I wish I had some mountains to look at... that aren't on a computer screen. I remember one my first hikes with a baby was up the Wellsviles. Anne got sunburned and it was a bit ambitious for Megan so soon after the delivery. I still feel bad about doing that to her.
it gets better...
hang in there and next time lets coordinate and go together?! we just got back a couple weeks ago, and would love to head up again - we even have a free place to stay! (can you tell i'm bribing you?)
Well? Was it?
Amen to life is not the same. But isn't it hilarious how we try to make it all work in the end? They're by far the funnies stories we've got! I'm so sorry it was such a hassle. Sound like everyday life to me.
I feeeeel your pain! It's so hard being a mommy and it's so worth it too. I'll call you when we get out treats in the mail:)
I've so been there-in a sense. As many people have told me after I have a close-to-the-end-of-my-wits experience, this too shall pass. And as I'm sending my once ridiculously nap-scheduled toddler to preschool tomorrow, I can't believe I'm seeing it all unfold. Don't you look back on your own family memories and the mishaps that happen along the way? You will laugh at this someday (say it 10 times) You definitely get an A for effort!!!
I also got a kick out of driving past Dave Gray mowing his lawn this week with his daughter on his back in her backpacking pack. I guess Dave is looking for a differeing kind of tan line now???
Looks like you had an eventful trip! I think the attempt counts for something, now you have a great story to tell. We really wanted to come, but I booked our hotel on the wrong night through priceline in Provo. So we had to go to education week thursday and friday. Next year will be fun:)!
MaRea
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