Bad Purchase.

Yesterday I was looking through my wallet and found a store credit from a gift I returned from my wedding. 4 1/2 years ago. It was to an expensive boutique that I would never really get anything at, but I thought "what the heck - let's see if they'll still accept it".
The trip started out with me getting right down to Brooklynn's level, looking her in the eye, and saying over and over "Brooklynn, this is a fragile store, no touching!" (Due to the last incident we had in an unnamed store, for fear they'll ever recognize me there again, where she did $50 worth of damages in about 3 seconds when I turned my back).
We entered the store and immediately were greeted with that expensive fragrance that always accompanies such stores. After talking to the store clerk, who looked like the good witch of the west, and learning that they would indeed still accept the credit, I began marooning through the boutique in search of something worth only $20.00 (store credit = $18.75)
I stopped at an immaculate halloween elf. Note. Halloween and Elves don't even go together. But this one was immaculate. It was detailed and beautiful, with stacked pumpkins as a hat. I looked at that elf and knew it belonged in a beautiful big home with several other halloween elves and a big window display - the kind you see in Martha Stewart Living. I carefully looked at the price tag - $107.00. ONE HUNDRED SEVEN DOLLARS. For an elf, albeit a Halloween elf.
Moving on.
Clearance Section! Surely something for $20 there.
And then I saw it. Caldrea. Lavender Pine. Essential Oils. Window Spray. Window Spray?! Window Spray.
Immediately thoughts of what this means came to my mind. In what world is window spray of Lavender Essence?? Images filled my mind and I was living in that world. It was a world where entire beds were soft and white, with expensive pillows and 1,200 thread count sheets. I opened the lid and sniffed and the world just erupted in color. I had a maid, and life was easy and happy and so perfect that I could taste it. A life where the WINDOW SPRAY smelled of LAVENDER. Honestly. Just imagine what kind of a life that belongs in.
I had to have this life. Even if it was just a slice of it. I had to have this window spray.
It was in the clearance section, on sale for $4.00
That's right, folks. Only $4 for this amazing daydream to come home with me and become a reality.
Can you tell I'm a SUCKER for infomercials? But that's for another post.
So I bought the Spray. I took it home. There's a reason it was in the clearance section. True, it leaves a divine mist of lavender to anoint your senses for about 3 seconds. It truly is too beautiful to believe. And it leaves your windows and mirrors streaked with oil.
Just in case you think I'm crazy - it says right there on the bottle: "USES: Windows, glass and mirrors. Enjoy sparkling clean windows and mirrors without harsh ammonia."
LIE.
It should say "Enjoy three second of great smell that you should have just bought in an air freshener only to be left behind by streaks that will take you 5 minutes to clean out and leave you feeling disappointed."
To top it all off, we also purchased a stylish ceramic piggy bank for Brooklynn, which she promptly broke within 24 hours of purchase.
I know I should have known.
I was hoping that a slice of the fantasy that everything that store represented could come home with me. Two year olds that don't break breakable piggy banks and windows that stay clean and smell of lavender.
What I learned is what I knew walking into that store. These things don't exist. And if they do, I don't belong. Instead, I'm going to roll up my sleeves, wash the darn windows with windex, and feel bad for the next sorry chap who buys the Caldrea Spray hoping to make their expensive mirrors smell good.